The Art of Choosing Friends: What It Says About You

Choosing friends might seem straightforward, but it’s actually quite a mix of factors. Here’s a simple breakdown of how we pick the people who end up being our closest pals:

1. Shared Interests

Most friendships start with something in common. Maybe you both love the same sports team, enjoy the same music, or have a shared hobby. These common interests give you something to talk about and do together, making it easier to bond.

2. Similar Values

Beyond just liking the same things, good friends often share similar values or beliefs. If you both think honesty is important or believe in helping others, it makes the friendship stronger because you understand each other’s perspectives and principles.

3. Easy Compatibility

Some friendships just click. You might feel comfortable and relaxed around certain people, and conversations flow easily. This natural ease makes spending time together enjoyable and helps build a strong connection.

4. Proximity Matters

You’re more likely to be friends with people who are around you often, like classmates or coworkers. Being close by means you get to hang out more and have more shared experiences. But with technology, it’s easier now to stay friends with people who live far away too.

5. Mutual Effort

Friendships need work from both sides. If both of you put in effort to stay in touch and support each other, the friendship is more likely to last. It’s a two-way street where both people need to care and contribute.

6. Growing Together

As people change and grow, so do friendships. Sometimes, you and your friends might go in different directions. That’s normal and doesn’t mean the friendship wasn’t valuable—it just means it’s evolving.

7. Meeting Emotional Needs

Friends often help us feel better, whether we need someone to talk to or just want to hang out. If a friend makes you feel supported and understood, it’s a big part of why you might choose to be close to them. Sometimes life happens and they are there for you.

8. Shared Experiences

Going through things together—good or bad—can bring friends closer. Whether it’s celebrating a victory or facing a challenge, these shared moments help strengthen the bond between you.

9. Reflecting Who We Are

The friends we choose often reflect something about ourselves. They might share our values, interests, or even our quirks. They help us feel understood and accepted for who we are.

Conclusion: A Blend of Many Things

Choosing friends is about finding people who you connect with on many levels—shared interests, similar values, and natural compatibility. It’s also about effort, emotional support, and growing together. Understanding how we pick friends can help us appreciate the connections we have and how they fit into our lives.

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Most people have experienced some type of anxiety. That’s pretty normal. For example, you may have felt anxious before you had to give a speech or when you were on a first date. These are normal forms of anxiety that most folks experience and it passes quickly. However, maybe for you, anxiety isn’t just an occasional issue. Nor does it pass quickly. Quite the opposite, it's a problem that regularly interferes with many areas of your life. Untreated anxiety like this does not just go away on its own. In fact, chances are that it will get worse over time. Why and how does that happen?

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Things that happened to you in the past, can replay in your mind day after day. But you don’t have to live with it. You may avoid seeking counseling because you may have gone to counseling in the past and it wasn’t pleasant. Your experience was one of talking about it- over and over- until you felt as though you were reliving it. It may have felt like it only made things worse.

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Childhood abuse is not survived without scars. Many survivors live with wounds that others can’t see. You do your best to try to manage, but as the years go by, coping becomes harder and harder and zaps all of your energy. These old wounds weren’t healed with time, as you hoped they would be. Instead, they were painfully transformed into something adult, pervasive and entrenched: post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

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An increasing number of music therapists are now treating people touched by traumas both big and small, highlighting humanity’s deepest connections with music in the process.

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