Have You Thought About Therapy… And Then Talked Yourself Out of It?
Maybe you've wondered...
How much is this going to cost me—in time and money?
I don't want to keep going over things I'd rather leave in the past.
I've done therapy before. I talked a lot about things, but nothing changed.
Those are real concerns.
Therapy doesn't have to mean months or years of talking about what happened. And healing doesn't have to require reliving it.
Different Approaches to Therapy
There are many different approaches to therapy, and they work in fundamentally different ways.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) focuses on thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and learning ways to change unhelpful patterns. It may include learning and practicing new coping skills, both during and between sessions.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a trauma-focused therapy.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, the therapist guides the person through questions about the traumatic memory while using eye movements. The goal is to reprocess the memory so that it is experienced in a different way.
Today, I primarily use The Cortina Method (TCM). It follows the steps of Memory Reconsolidation, and I have found it to be particularly effective in my work with trauma.
There Is Another Way
Your mind is powerful. It heals things every day.
Neuroscience has discovered things we didn't understand in the past—things that have fundamentally changed what we know about emotions and how they influence our behavior and how we respond.
One of those discoveries is Memory Reconsolidation, which researchers have called a “major breakthrough” in understanding how emotional memory works.
Ecker, B., Ticic, R., & Hulley, L., (2013). A Primer on memory reconsolidation and its psychotherapeutic use as a core process of profound change. The Neuropsychotherapist. 1, 82-99.
The Cortina Method
With TCM therapy, we soften the sharp emotions tied to a memory, which in turn softens your behavior and responses.
When the harsh emotions tied to a memory are softened, the behavior connected to that memory can change naturally—without having to remember and use a strategy when you're triggered.
You will still remember what happened.
Something you remember today with fear, anger, shame, or overwhelming sadness will not always carry that same emotional intensity.
The memory remains. The sharp edges can soften.
What Might Bring You to TCM?
Sometimes the things affecting you today began a long time ago.
Maybe you grew up walking on eggshells, never quite knowing what mood someone would be in or what might happen next.
Maybe you learned to tiptoe through life without making waves.
Your household may have been chaotic, with frequent arguments or fights. Someone in your life may have been involved in addictive behavior. You may have spent a lot of time alone and unsupervised—more time than a child should have been left alone.
There may have been frequent criticism. Maybe there wasn't much affection, encouragement, or the validation and support children need.
And somewhere along the way, you may have begun to believe:
I'm not enough.
You grew up. You moved forward with your life.
And those early emotions and responses moved forward with you into adult life.
Over time, they may have influenced what you came to believe about yourself.
And, of course, difficult experiences don't only happen in childhood.
You may have experienced any number of difficult or traumatic experiences, from sexual assault to bullying, betrayal, or other painful events.
Maybe there was one event that particularly stands out.
These experiences can leave an imprint.
But you should know this: things may have happened to you, but they are not part of you.
You are so much more than that.
With TCM, You Are the Guest
That means you are treated with respect, care, and collaboration throughout the process.
I listen carefully to understand how you came to experience what is troubling you, what is important to you, and what you would like to be different.
Then we collaborate toward the outcome you would like.
We Begin With a Complimentary Phone Consultation
This gives us a chance to talk briefly about what brings you to counseling and whether working together feels like a good fit.
I can answer any questions you have.
The Intake Session
Plan on approximately two hours.
This is where I learn about you, what has brought you here, and what you would like to address.
The things you would like to address become our roadmap for your TCM sessions.
At that time, I can give you an idea of approximately how many TCM sessions we may need. For many people, that may be somewhere between 2–6 sessions.
What Is a TCM Session Like?
Next, we'll schedule your TCM session. Plan on approximately two hours.
You can be in a comfortable place and dress comfortably.
If you've been in therapy before, you may expect to do most of the talking. TCM is different.
During a TCM session, I do most of the talking. I will engage you in understanding how your mind works, and you will be involved with me throughout the process.
There may even be laughter and moments of fun along the way.
Many people find the session surprisingly relaxing and may even enjoy the experience.
We collaborate throughout the process.
Think of it a little like taking a canoe trip together. You're in the front of the canoe, letting me know what you see and pointing out anything that needs our attention. I'm in the back, providing the power and guiding us in the direction we need to go.
I really know where we're going. We're guiding your mind toward healing.
A few days after your TCM session, I will call you for a quick check-in. We'll talk about how you're feeling, what you've noticed is different, and whether there is anything that still needs our attention.
What Would Feel Different?
Guests tell me they feel lighter.
They no longer feel the need to control things the way they once did.
When the past is no longer demanding so much of your attention, there is space to live in the present.
Not pulled back into what happened. Not worrying about what might happen next.
Present. Here. Now.
There is room for calm. For clarity. For connection.
There is room for laughter.
You can feel like yourself again.
Ready to See if TCM Is Right for You?
I invite you to set up a complimentary phone consultation. We can talk about what you would like to be different and answer any questions you may have.
If it feels like a good fit, we can schedule an intake session.
You don't have to have everything figured out before you reach out.
All you have to do is take the step that's in front of you.
Just that one step.
Let's talk.
Cathy Austin, LPC, NCC is a trauma-informed counselor and therapist and the founder of Inspired by Hope Counseling. She specializes in trauma therapy and helping adults move beyond PTSD, anxiety, grief, and painful life experiences using gentle, neuroscience-informed approaches, including The Cortina Method.
Her approach is focused on helping people create meaningful change without requiring them to repeatedly relive painful experiences.
Cathy provides virtual counseling throughout Colorado.
The worst moments of your life are not easily forgotten. Nor should they be, necessarily. Nor should they be constantly re-lived. To be sure, there may be lessons to learn and growth to be gained. But should you suffer forever from the emotional impact of those moments? Or can you remember without the emotional pain?